Just a boy at the beach.

I was just a boy at the beach. Who stumbled across something so extraordinary that words cannot describe it. So impactful and intense that it still remains after almost a decade.

I’m a man of many mistakes. I’ve lied, disappointed, and let people who entrusted me with their hearts down. Unfortunately, I have had to live with years of deep regret, but I’m sure nothing compared to those I’ve hurt around me. I live every day with the thought that I hurt someone so bad that it potentially caused life-long scarring. I live every day knowing I betrayed the trust of someone I looked in the eye and promised I’d never do anything to hurt them. And then I did. I was young. I was stupid. And I was careless. That day I lost that special someone, I lost a part of myself. I turned to anger, and abused drugs to numb my mind, and in some cases, that sip of alcohol was what I needed to help the pain go away.

I want to know that she is okay and healed from the pain. I want to know that her new boyfriend is treating her well. I want to know if I’m forgiven. Sadly, I’m not sure that I’ll ever find that out. I would take it back in a heartbeat and change everything if I could. She was my world. She was my soulmate. She was my everything.

Just a boy at the beach.


-TDP